Another OB/GYN appointment

I'm at the Mater again...sitting at the cafe, waiting for my appointment whilst watching the lift open and close with heavily pregnant women shuffling in and out. People with balloons and flowers visiting, and the yang of witnessing other patients pushing their frames slowly obviously fraught with pain as they struggle to ride a lift. 

A familiar excitement warms my heart as I anticipate the birth of my gorgeous little girl at this lovely hospital in only 19 weeks time. 

I reminise about 4 years ago when I sat at the same table with my dad, only 1 week after Luca's birth and the breakfast routine we had whilst he was in ICU. It was a bonding experience for us. A wonderful memory marked in time. The early morning car pool to get here in time for the attempts at breast feeding Luca's little premature body - not ready for the onslaught of a boob forced in his mouth. I still have a bittersweet memory of Luca in those first 2 weeks here. The nurses were wonderful, the heartbreak of not having my baby with me all the time horrid and the uncertainty if there was any permanent damage unnerving.

A pinch of dread quickly enters my thoughts at the idea that it could happen again. A new mother's worst nightmare, a sick child. I pray that it won't happen to my little girl. With every kick, a sense of relief and the bathroom stops without the sight of blood an accomplishment.

The days I don't feel a kick or very little is torture. The role of mother starts from conception. You worry for your unborn child's safety, their health and their sense of happiness already. And it will never stop.

These appointments are a blessing - I liken it to receiving a pass mark from a teacher. "Job well done - you're going well this term". 

Not doing well is like failing an exam - there is no one else to blame but yourself.

But I'm not trying to think of that.... I'm here with a positive outlook, I know that I have prayed enough for a healthy child. I'm doing everything I can.. Only time will tell... And if it happens again... So be it... I know what I'm in for. But knock on wood that it won't happen. Please god, please. 

I'll keep you posted on what happens after this... Stay tuned. 

IT'S A GIRL

We had our 19 week ultrasound and we found out it was a GIRL!!

It was such an amazing day - shared with my mum which made it even more special.

Then and now

Pregnant with Luca  (1) and second pregnancy  2) 

18 weeks

Appetite is starting to increase and I've noticed that when I'm at home I eat terribly unhealthy food and at work I'm an angel. Thankfully I'm there more! today I took Luca to the beach. I'm trying to spend quality time with him before the baby arrives and I'm doing things that are fun and memorable. I ate crap. And feel guilty about it because I haven't been taking my pregnancy vitamins. They just made me so sick because of their taste that I went off them. But I hope there ate no repercussions. 

1 week to ho before we find out the gender of the baby.  Super excited!! 

My smooch

A small bleed..a loss of name...and an excruciating wait..

What a shitty day!!

Where do I start?

How about the fact my boss and I were chatting about our relevant pregnancies (she's 6 weeks behind me)...and out of no where we started talking about baby names and she drops that she wants to call her daughter Melina....WTF??????????? and not just Melina....but Melina Rose!!! I cant believe it.....this has happened to me twice now....first with mentioning my favourite name to Lisa and of course she blabbed it to her pregnant sister who in-turn named her daughter Sophia...(don't make me go into the story but Lisa is a bad lier on how her sister found the name) and now this....

I can't get a break...honestly...  

Cant really do anything until I know for sure the sex of the baby...which will either happen tonight when we see the OB-GYN....or in 3 weeks time for my 19/20 week anatomy scan.

I made sure to mention my boys names in the process of being shocked to the core....what pisses me off the most is that she didnt even know what the name means!!! For heavens sake...

Then...at lunchtime...I go to the bathroom and I've noticed I've had a bleed....nothing major...just a little dark brown (sorry TMI)...now I'm scared.  Thoughts keep running through my head about the most dire of scenarios.

Imagine loosing the baby now...?!  

It would mean so much loss...and the possibility of mum not seeing me have a second child....(too painful to even think about).

So now I'm here waiting in the Mater cafe for Dave to see if this pregnancy is still viable...or if, we have to go through more heartache.

stay tuned.

16 weeks

So far this pregnancy has been complication free. No bleeding like when I was pregnant with Luca and no stress about what the next few months had in stall (knock on wood).

I feel confident, excited and a little bit apprehensive.

Will I be able to cope with two children...? my patience is already small with a screaming 3 year old...how will I handle it?  

The advantages are...I'm not working on Dizenya this maternity leave.  I'm going to take the whole year off completely...which means an opportunity to purely focus on Dave, Luca and the baby.

I'm excited about giving back to Dave...I feel extremely guilty about not being able to do housework whilst this morning sickness lingers into its 4th month.

That's the only downside to this pregnancy...the morning sickness...but sadly, I need it. I don't have any other symptom (Dave would argue grumpiness)...I know I would drive him crazy worried about the viability  of the pregnancy if I didn't have a symptom...and yet I complain endlessly about feeling crook.

Cant win.

Soon I will feel the baby move...and the gender.

I feel this time its a baby girl....Ive got hips which require sensitive mannovouring through doorways..but we'll see - I have a OB-GYN appointment on Thursday followed by gender ultrasound in  3 weeks.

What to eat and what not to eat during pregnancy

I've been pregnant before, mind you 4 years ago, and I seriously can't remember what I'm allowed to eat and what to avoid.

The obviously no-no's are runny cheese, alcohol, deep sea fish and deli meats - but what about cooked bacon, tuna, prawns, dips???

Google came to the rescue and I found a great page on the NSW Food Authority website that came to my rescue.

http://www.foodauthority.nsw.gov.au/consumers/life-events-and-food/pregnancy/pregnancy-table/#.Ua_xnssaySM

May the month that was...

As you all know my first cycle of IVF was during the month of May.  It was a crazy blur of injections, blood tests, ultrasounds and painful extractions...but determination reined supreme... its amazing how much your body and mind adjusts to circumstance when you've been dealt with this unusual hand.

I did everything I was told...I followed their instructions and those of my wonderful boss Kelly and it paid off.

I found out a week ago that it worked.  I'm officially 5 weeks pregnant and still in disbelief.

I really won't consider it 'real' until I hear the heartbeat....but seriously...what an unexpected surprise.  We'd given ourselves 3 attempts at IVF - hearing from many people (including our Dr) that the first cycle was more of a delicate experiment to see how my body would react to the hormones.

The concoction was right - and here I am excited about writing about my pregnancy for the next 8 months.

The funny thing about this pregnancy is that it feels completely different to when I was pregnant with Luca...I was soo sick. My boobs ached constantly, I felt so sick I couldn't get out of bed on some days...so far so good this time 'round.

Slightly feel off...nothing major....tiredness is a killer.....and what sets it apart the most...is that I look 4 months pregnant already.  I seriously have to go out and buy maternity clothes already at 5 weeks. This is crazy...I was HUUGGEE with Luca....forget that this time....I'll be so big - I'll need to give birth  in the garage.

Best bit...I don't care...I just want a baby at the end of this...my vanity and body image can wait.

So from what I gather, my due date is 30 January or thereabouts. I'm going to do everything in my power this time to NOT have a premmie.

Say adios to work in November...and be super cruisy throughout the whole 8 months...and definitely no internal ultrasounds  after 12 weeks. (we are pretty sure that the internal ultrasound I had a 34 weeks is what triggered labour with Luca)....

Stay tuned for my ramblings over the next months.

Your phone is dirtier than a toilet!!!!

Studies show that your cellphone is one of the dirties things you come in contact with on a daily basis. Here's a list of five surprising objects that contain less bacteria than your phone.

Read the full story and sources listed here:

Music: The Bottom (Instrumental) - Josh Woodwardhttp://bit.ly/11NVLGW

For more surprising tech tidbits, subscribe to Mashable at the link below:
https://www.youtube.com/subscription_...

Mashable is the leading independent news site for all things tech, social media, and internet culture.

I feel like a junkie with a day job..

The IVF treatment is in full swing now with David playing Dr each morning with our plethora of drugs.

It's not as bad as you think though, once you get the momentum happening, you just adapt - and the fact you want something so badly you are willing to trudge through hell to get it.

I admit though, it's starting to feel slightly uncomfortable - I'm bruised from the daily injections into my stomach, bloated from the follicles that are growing and the hormones that are making my body go crazy...but I wouldn't have it any other way.  If this is the only way I'll get to have another baby then so be it.

I've had two ultrasounds now, the one I had this morning will determine when I go in to have the egg extraction.  I hope they are great quality ones that I can freeze and I don't have to do this again. Wouldn't it be the most amazing thing to have a pregnancy in the first cycle.

Please god.

So we had the meeting...

...and my brain is about to pop with the amount of info.

Professional, thorough, no nonsense place...clinical. No emotion - and no hard sells (surprisingly).

The reception fit-out alone packs an impressive punch albeit with a bitter taste of knowing where the money is going. Someone has to pay right?

Other couples nervously wait for their names to be called out by a nurse. You can't help but look at other couples desperate for kids and wonder how this journey will end for them.

Dave was already waiting in an oversized, comfy lounge when I arrived. I was quickly ushered to reception to provide my drivers license and Medicare card and then wait for our names to be called.

The feeling as we waited oddly reminded me of waiting at the GPs office with a positive home pregnancy test wrapped in plastic in my handbag. Pregnant and scared, but excited..and just as I did then, I held Dave's hand and squeezed gently, kissed him and smiled a nervous smile. Our journey's are always complicated or thrilling depending how you look at it...I honestly think god wouldn't give us these challenges if He thought we couldn't handle It. No matter the outcome, I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else.

A tall nurse came bounding out of a corridor and called us in. I stood up, a little to eager, to shake her hand and be told what to do next.

She took us down a zen-like corporate corridor, with mood lighting and soft green colour palette.. a number of consulting rooms lined either side.

At this moment, Dave decides to tell me this is where he had to go to do his sperm sample. I'm starting to wonder if the table where our our host is taking us is clean.
Before I get too concerned I notice a name plaque in the door.. Consulting rooms.. Phew..

We sit down at a round table which has a monitor and exchange small talk about the weather...she Introduces herself and welcomes us.( I'll be brutally honest here and say it was a well rehearsed speech).

What threw us was the request that a new finance employee join in our discussion for her training.

Another throw back to the maternity ward when I was in labour with Luca. All the student nurses who came in to "check it out"...

Stuff it. Let her watch - if it helps another couple so be it.

The nurse briefly talked about the medication and the procedures. How and when I have to call and get ultrasounds and tests and the come in for day surgery to extract the eggs and then come in again a few days later to hopefully put some back.

Then a finance lady came in to chat about costs _ $10k per cycle... Fark.
Thankfully only $4,400 is the out of pocket... Still... Sheesh!!

10 consent forms later and a blood and cystic vibrios genetics check... We're ready to roll..

Next stop... waiting for day 29 and then calling them again to book in a blood test.

Tuesday's have never been so exciting

Today marks the official start of growing our family.

I have my appointment with Genea today at 10am and I'm a mixture of emotions but mostly excited.

There is an inner strength that is emerging which is pushing me along - I'm surprising myself even with the thought of the daily needles, I'm going to do this... The prize at the end is just so important.

With work so busy, the emotional roller coaster of a terminally ill mother and already looking after an active 3 year old, I wonder if my body will be able to handle the next chapter...but just the thought of missing out on holding another child of my own flesh and blood is too devastating.

My hubby is slowly plodding along with me. The tests and more importantly the costs are not his preferred method of conceiving but I think he's slowly getting used to the idea. Just like my previous pregnancy, he won't show his delight in until I've pushed the baby out LOL ;)

Today's appointment is about signing consent forms and notifying us of the process..and I think the prescription of drugs.

Stay tuned for the next update.

The gift of an ordinary day - a mum's story

It's funny that only yesterday I was thinking how quickly Luca is growing up and how I'm trying to capture, like still frames in my mind, everything he says and does while he's still little.

Every hug, every kiss and even the tears I appreciate (most days) - even when I have other things to do around the house, when life is so busy - if he asks for me, I do try and stop what I'm doing and as sad as it sounds, I give myself a gift....our special moment in each others company - because I know this little guy won't be my koala forever...

I give myself a gift....our special moment in each others company - because I know this little guy won't be my koala forever..."

Don't get me wrong, I do look forward to the future when he's a grown man, but there will be tears for the little boy that I'm honoured to raise right now - he makes me so proud every day.

As I embark on my first IVF journey for our second child, my sincere wish is that I will be blessed with another opportunity to experience motherhood.

Secondary infertility, as horrible and disappointing as it has been, has had a silver-lining, in that I've had quality time to appreciate the gift of an ordinary day with Luca.

This time of parents and children all living together under one roof, isn't the whole story after all.......It's just one chapter"

Below is a wonderful (and I warn you, emotional!!) video by Katrina Kenison, a mother of two boys - whose heart is quite possibly grieving, not from death, but from the quietness of an empty house. Her positivity and raw emotion in her words is felt by all mothers.

Loving Espirit's looks this season...

Autumn is upon us and I love changing the wardrobe up to prepare for the cooler weather.

Espirit have some great looks this season..check out some of their winter range!

Get them all from Birdsnest online - an excellent online retail shop.

Pictures courtesy of Birdsnest

3D printing - is it a hype?

Consumers might be disappointed by the reality of widely-available, high-end 3D printers, claims  an analyst at research firm Gartner.

US technology research firm Gartner published a report last month predicting that “enterprise-class” 3D printers would be available for $US 2,000 by 2016 to consumers, about the current price of a functioning, entry-level printer.

The take-up of the technology would also be helped by improvements in the performance of 3D scanners. Its use has potential to transform many types of businesses, with Gartner likening its disruptive properties to e-commerce.

“3D printing is a technology accelerating to mainstream adoption,” said Gartner research director Pete Basiliere in a statement accompanying the report on the much-hyped emerging technology.

“From descriptions of exciting current uses in medical, manufacturing and other industries to futuristic ideas — such as using 3D printers on asteroids and the moon to create parts for spacecraft and lunar bases — the hype leads many people to think the technology is some years away when it is available now and is affordable to most enterprises.”

Network World reports that Basiliere has said the technology may disappoint consumers to whom it becomes available, due to the need for proficiency with sophisticated CAD software to effectively make use of 3D printing.

"Once you have that, now you still have to print it out, and depending upon the consumer's skill set, it could be a very difficult process of trial-and-error getting the printer to produce the part that they envisioned," Basiliere told Network World.

"Not that the printer is incapable, but there may be need for support structures and other elements in the design that, if the consumer isn't proficient with the software, it leads to a bad print."

IPad Accessories

With tablet device sales cruising past a million units sold and an international roll-out the accessories market is being flooded. But which are the best accessories for the iPad?

Apple Keyboard Dock

The iPad has been heralded as the answer to the problem of the void between smartphones and net books – and, in some ways, it has fulfilled this prophecy. However, there is no keyboard or mouse with the iPad – it’s all about the multitouch – which could be a problem for some potential iPad users.

Fortunately, there’s a nice little accessory known as the Apple Keyboard Dock, which will turn the iPad into a desktop computer, complete with keyboard and mouse and, potentially, solve this issue.

The Apple Keyboard Dock comes in a true Apple aluminum finish and, as an added bonus, it also charges and syncs up with the iPad. The keyboard also features special keys that provide one touch access to the iPad’s Home screen, Spotlight, picture frame mode and screen lock.

The Cloak by Quirky

The iPad, as everyone knows, is a media-centric piece of kit that’s designed to revolutionize the way people engage and use digital media. In addition to this, the iPad is extremely lightweight and mobile, which means users’ can take it practically everywhere with them. But how can you ensure that it stays scuff-free while on your travels?

One solution is The Cloak, which is a carrier case with a twist – it uses a vertical hinge that allows users’ to view media in either landscape or portrait. Design wise, The Cloak has a viewing window in one side and is made from non-slip rubber with a double plastic hinge mechanism. The iPad is slid through the top and held in place by a process, scientifically, referred to as sturdy friction grip.

In short, The Cloak is an essential piece of kit for anyone that likes traveling and watching media – and as an added bonus, it looks really stylish.

Scosche Kickback

The iPad is sort of like a big iPhone and, like the iPhone, it features a virtual keyboard, which means any emails or text typing has to be done using the touchscreen. So, when you have your iPad, you can either lay it down on a table or on your lap to do this – or you can invest in a kick stand that’ll elevate and angle the device slightly.

One of the best iPad kickstands we’ve seen so far is the Scosche Kickback. The Scosche KickBack is made out of a polycarbonate and rubber fusion, so it’s exceptionally lightweight, making it ideal for mobility. 

The Scosche Kickback case also connects up with all the ports on the iPad and also comes with a screen protector – so not only do you get a more comfortable way to type and use your iPad, but you also get a complete sync up between the two things.

iPad Camera Connection Kit

One of the main gripes we have with the iPad is that it doesn’t have any sort of card-reading feature, which means no moving stuff from your digital camera’s SDCard to your iPad.

Fortunately, Apple have a solution to this problem known as the iPad Camera Connection kit, which features two dongles – one for importing stuff via USB and one that lets you plug a SDCard directly into it.

It is unfortunate that Apple didn’t include this feature built-in to the iPad – and are now monetizing the void it created. But, if you are a serious photographer, or an avid SDCard user, you really can’t do with the iPad Camera Connection Kit.

As another bonus, users are reporting that the device allows the iPad to connect to other USB devices, including some keyboards. Smart.

The Griffin Flexgrip

If you’re about to invest in an iPad, you’ll want to keep it safe from scuffs, bumps and scrapes once it arrives – after all, it’s not everyday you get an iPad.

For this reason, it is highly advisable that you invest in a protective case and, as cases go, we really like the Griffin Flexgrip – it’s cost effective, comes in a range of colors and will keep your iPad safe from everything the world decides to throw at it.

Kitchen Aid? more like Kitchen genius!

Ok Ok - so it's a large investment for something that you might not use everyday but seriously....this item in my kitchen is magic.

I can't recommend enough the quality of Kitchen Aid appliances - the quality, the design. It takes a beating and beats! (lol)

Rocketing into Luca's life!

Simply amazing how even now Astro Boy still has the childhood appeal it did in the 80s when I first discovered the show on ABC.

Luca is enthralled - so much so he we imported the only Astro Boy figurine available to mankind. Seriously they are as rare as hens teeth.

Needless to say watching them over and over again has brought back memories from my youth.

A highly recommended show if you've forgotten.

Watch them online or purchase the set.

One Sketch A Day

I committed to my new years resolution and bought myself the 'One Sketch a Day' journal to document the next 365 days of my life.

Considering that the next few months are going to be AMAZING - what an awesome way to etch in history what's going on in my life and then to post them up here so you can all have a laugh.

I might be a graphic designer and illustrator but my hand-drawn sketches need a lot of improvement - so I'm killing two birds with one stone.

Wish me luck....

Don't forget to post comments below - I try to respond to all my questions.