May the month that was...

As you all know my first cycle of IVF was during the month of May.  It was a crazy blur of injections, blood tests, ultrasounds and painful extractions...but determination reined supreme... its amazing how much your body and mind adjusts to circumstance when you've been dealt with this unusual hand.

I did everything I was told...I followed their instructions and those of my wonderful boss Kelly and it paid off.

I found out a week ago that it worked.  I'm officially 5 weeks pregnant and still in disbelief.

I really won't consider it 'real' until I hear the heartbeat....but seriously...what an unexpected surprise.  We'd given ourselves 3 attempts at IVF - hearing from many people (including our Dr) that the first cycle was more of a delicate experiment to see how my body would react to the hormones.

The concoction was right - and here I am excited about writing about my pregnancy for the next 8 months.

The funny thing about this pregnancy is that it feels completely different to when I was pregnant with Luca...I was soo sick. My boobs ached constantly, I felt so sick I couldn't get out of bed on some days...so far so good this time 'round.

Slightly feel off...nothing major....tiredness is a killer.....and what sets it apart the most...is that I look 4 months pregnant already.  I seriously have to go out and buy maternity clothes already at 5 weeks. This is crazy...I was HUUGGEE with Luca....forget that this time....I'll be so big - I'll need to give birth  in the garage.

Best bit...I don't care...I just want a baby at the end of this...my vanity and body image can wait.

So from what I gather, my due date is 30 January or thereabouts. I'm going to do everything in my power this time to NOT have a premmie.

Say adios to work in November...and be super cruisy throughout the whole 8 months...and definitely no internal ultrasounds  after 12 weeks. (we are pretty sure that the internal ultrasound I had a 34 weeks is what triggered labour with Luca)....

Stay tuned for my ramblings over the next months.

So we had the meeting...

...and my brain is about to pop with the amount of info.

Professional, thorough, no nonsense place...clinical. No emotion - and no hard sells (surprisingly).

The reception fit-out alone packs an impressive punch albeit with a bitter taste of knowing where the money is going. Someone has to pay right?

Other couples nervously wait for their names to be called out by a nurse. You can't help but look at other couples desperate for kids and wonder how this journey will end for them.

Dave was already waiting in an oversized, comfy lounge when I arrived. I was quickly ushered to reception to provide my drivers license and Medicare card and then wait for our names to be called.

The feeling as we waited oddly reminded me of waiting at the GPs office with a positive home pregnancy test wrapped in plastic in my handbag. Pregnant and scared, but excited..and just as I did then, I held Dave's hand and squeezed gently, kissed him and smiled a nervous smile. Our journey's are always complicated or thrilling depending how you look at it...I honestly think god wouldn't give us these challenges if He thought we couldn't handle It. No matter the outcome, I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else.

A tall nurse came bounding out of a corridor and called us in. I stood up, a little to eager, to shake her hand and be told what to do next.

She took us down a zen-like corporate corridor, with mood lighting and soft green colour palette.. a number of consulting rooms lined either side.

At this moment, Dave decides to tell me this is where he had to go to do his sperm sample. I'm starting to wonder if the table where our our host is taking us is clean.
Before I get too concerned I notice a name plaque in the door.. Consulting rooms.. Phew..

We sit down at a round table which has a monitor and exchange small talk about the weather...she Introduces herself and welcomes us.( I'll be brutally honest here and say it was a well rehearsed speech).

What threw us was the request that a new finance employee join in our discussion for her training.

Another throw back to the maternity ward when I was in labour with Luca. All the student nurses who came in to "check it out"...

Stuff it. Let her watch - if it helps another couple so be it.

The nurse briefly talked about the medication and the procedures. How and when I have to call and get ultrasounds and tests and the come in for day surgery to extract the eggs and then come in again a few days later to hopefully put some back.

Then a finance lady came in to chat about costs _ $10k per cycle... Fark.
Thankfully only $4,400 is the out of pocket... Still... Sheesh!!

10 consent forms later and a blood and cystic vibrios genetics check... We're ready to roll..

Next stop... waiting for day 29 and then calling them again to book in a blood test.

Tuesday's have never been so exciting

Today marks the official start of growing our family.

I have my appointment with Genea today at 10am and I'm a mixture of emotions but mostly excited.

There is an inner strength that is emerging which is pushing me along - I'm surprising myself even with the thought of the daily needles, I'm going to do this... The prize at the end is just so important.

With work so busy, the emotional roller coaster of a terminally ill mother and already looking after an active 3 year old, I wonder if my body will be able to handle the next chapter...but just the thought of missing out on holding another child of my own flesh and blood is too devastating.

My hubby is slowly plodding along with me. The tests and more importantly the costs are not his preferred method of conceiving but I think he's slowly getting used to the idea. Just like my previous pregnancy, he won't show his delight in until I've pushed the baby out LOL ;)

Today's appointment is about signing consent forms and notifying us of the process..and I think the prescription of drugs.

Stay tuned for the next update.