My smooch

A small bleed..a loss of name...and an excruciating wait..

What a shitty day!!

Where do I start?

How about the fact my boss and I were chatting about our relevant pregnancies (she's 6 weeks behind me)...and out of no where we started talking about baby names and she drops that she wants to call her daughter Melina....WTF??????????? and not just Melina....but Melina Rose!!! I cant believe it.....this has happened to me twice now....first with mentioning my favourite name to Lisa and of course she blabbed it to her pregnant sister who in-turn named her daughter Sophia...(don't make me go into the story but Lisa is a bad lier on how her sister found the name) and now this....

I can't get a break...honestly...  

Cant really do anything until I know for sure the sex of the baby...which will either happen tonight when we see the OB-GYN....or in 3 weeks time for my 19/20 week anatomy scan.

I made sure to mention my boys names in the process of being shocked to the core....what pisses me off the most is that she didnt even know what the name means!!! For heavens sake...

Then...at lunchtime...I go to the bathroom and I've noticed I've had a bleed....nothing major...just a little dark brown (sorry TMI)...now I'm scared.  Thoughts keep running through my head about the most dire of scenarios.

Imagine loosing the baby now...?!  

It would mean so much loss...and the possibility of mum not seeing me have a second child....(too painful to even think about).

So now I'm here waiting in the Mater cafe for Dave to see if this pregnancy is still viable...or if, we have to go through more heartache.

stay tuned.

16 weeks

So far this pregnancy has been complication free. No bleeding like when I was pregnant with Luca and no stress about what the next few months had in stall (knock on wood).

I feel confident, excited and a little bit apprehensive.

Will I be able to cope with two children...? my patience is already small with a screaming 3 year old...how will I handle it?  

The advantages are...I'm not working on Dizenya this maternity leave.  I'm going to take the whole year off completely...which means an opportunity to purely focus on Dave, Luca and the baby.

I'm excited about giving back to Dave...I feel extremely guilty about not being able to do housework whilst this morning sickness lingers into its 4th month.

That's the only downside to this pregnancy...the morning sickness...but sadly, I need it. I don't have any other symptom (Dave would argue grumpiness)...I know I would drive him crazy worried about the viability  of the pregnancy if I didn't have a symptom...and yet I complain endlessly about feeling crook.

Cant win.

Soon I will feel the baby move...and the gender.

I feel this time its a baby girl....Ive got hips which require sensitive mannovouring through doorways..but we'll see - I have a OB-GYN appointment on Thursday followed by gender ultrasound in  3 weeks.

What to eat and what not to eat during pregnancy

I've been pregnant before, mind you 4 years ago, and I seriously can't remember what I'm allowed to eat and what to avoid.

The obviously no-no's are runny cheese, alcohol, deep sea fish and deli meats - but what about cooked bacon, tuna, prawns, dips???

Google came to the rescue and I found a great page on the NSW Food Authority website that came to my rescue.

http://www.foodauthority.nsw.gov.au/consumers/life-events-and-food/pregnancy/pregnancy-table/#.Ua_xnssaySM

May the month that was...

As you all know my first cycle of IVF was during the month of May.  It was a crazy blur of injections, blood tests, ultrasounds and painful extractions...but determination reined supreme... its amazing how much your body and mind adjusts to circumstance when you've been dealt with this unusual hand.

I did everything I was told...I followed their instructions and those of my wonderful boss Kelly and it paid off.

I found out a week ago that it worked.  I'm officially 5 weeks pregnant and still in disbelief.

I really won't consider it 'real' until I hear the heartbeat....but seriously...what an unexpected surprise.  We'd given ourselves 3 attempts at IVF - hearing from many people (including our Dr) that the first cycle was more of a delicate experiment to see how my body would react to the hormones.

The concoction was right - and here I am excited about writing about my pregnancy for the next 8 months.

The funny thing about this pregnancy is that it feels completely different to when I was pregnant with Luca...I was soo sick. My boobs ached constantly, I felt so sick I couldn't get out of bed on some days...so far so good this time 'round.

Slightly feel off...nothing major....tiredness is a killer.....and what sets it apart the most...is that I look 4 months pregnant already.  I seriously have to go out and buy maternity clothes already at 5 weeks. This is crazy...I was HUUGGEE with Luca....forget that this time....I'll be so big - I'll need to give birth  in the garage.

Best bit...I don't care...I just want a baby at the end of this...my vanity and body image can wait.

So from what I gather, my due date is 30 January or thereabouts. I'm going to do everything in my power this time to NOT have a premmie.

Say adios to work in November...and be super cruisy throughout the whole 8 months...and definitely no internal ultrasounds  after 12 weeks. (we are pretty sure that the internal ultrasound I had a 34 weeks is what triggered labour with Luca)....

Stay tuned for my ramblings over the next months.

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I feel like a junkie with a day job..

The IVF treatment is in full swing now with David playing Dr each morning with our plethora of drugs.

It's not as bad as you think though, once you get the momentum happening, you just adapt - and the fact you want something so badly you are willing to trudge through hell to get it.

I admit though, it's starting to feel slightly uncomfortable - I'm bruised from the daily injections into my stomach, bloated from the follicles that are growing and the hormones that are making my body go crazy...but I wouldn't have it any other way.  If this is the only way I'll get to have another baby then so be it.

I've had two ultrasounds now, the one I had this morning will determine when I go in to have the egg extraction.  I hope they are great quality ones that I can freeze and I don't have to do this again. Wouldn't it be the most amazing thing to have a pregnancy in the first cycle.

Please god.